The Endless Road to Stardom

On holidays ofcourse. Or is one referring to one’s garbage bin gone missing. Ah well I had to laugh when I heard that gag first time around.
But I have indeed been away for a bit and now living in Europe I’m seeing more and more of it. It’s not just Holland over and over again. Although living in this very NOT !!!!!!! summery land I do like being here. When one is hanging out for blue sky’s, blue ocean kinda watery stuff you can actually swim in, palm trees and warm wind one would have to go south. So Mallorca it was. I saw the palm trees. I felt the warmth, I felt the earth was blue the sea was beautiful and even the hotel was good. But then we walked into the ‘trap’!!! Boy was that scary. As you go and explore one’s square, one finds one selve walking on ‘the boulevard’.
Shops, shops and more shops with tacky tackiness that will have you want to ware T shirts saying you are a tacky person were it not that you don’t fall for that one.

But you will pay the price . This street of tiles and beautifully laid bricks and stones for us to walk on stretches out forever. In the end we did find a fantastic Italian restaurant were people were nice and easy going and the food was absolutely fabulous and not too pukingly overpriced. And speaking of puking, barfing, chucking, pizzaing up your toilet, spilling your guts, what ever, we did walk past these sort of places where we did see ‘them’ sit around the table with the big yard glasses… NEE!!! … buckets of beer . And all of these aliens were drinking out of the same bucket each of them with straws hanging off their mouths.
Do we connect here or what ?

So out there in ‘gaga’ land we tried our luck in a Dutch pub ( there’s many ) ( cause you know, you gotta have a home away from home ! ) speaking of puke!!!,
we walked in, I’m getting us a few beers. I sound different ordering my drinks over the bar. I have a slight not sounding right kinda talk when I speak Dutch. I stick OUT!… My partner who they did not get to speak to, but a quick glance over at our table, made them realize also ‘the other one ‘ did not suit the picture these people have when it comes to being one of a kind.!!. Bingo!!

Here we are sitting in a ‘lets make a nite of it environment or else we’ll cut you’re bloody arms off ‘, trying to hide underneath the speakers so that we won’t get blown away, I have not even finished my drink and one of the apes
from behind the bar hinting to an audience of eight to have a party ‘or else’,
half grovels towards me in a very aggressive manner ( yes I know ) ” do I want
anozzer beertje”??? Meanwhile the other ape behind the bar playing the music, “spinning the discs” so to speak, was doing his best to find songs that would refere to the way my partner looks and the way we were not trying to be seen while our ears were being pearced with stupid songs sung in very bad english by “well need I say more ” kinda artists having an audience supporting these idiots singing along clapping the ‘granny clap’ not knowing what these songs are really about!

So what about ‘culture shock’ ?
I remember talking to my so called people meeting them in Australia on my travelzz, them meeting me in a land what had become my home, them coming from a land that was my home by birth and pointing out to me how different it was from their world and what a culture shock…. blablabla … well let me tell you this, when I was in Mallorca, we hired a little car and gone ‘bush’ ( nothing to do with George) so to speak, stayed away from the boulevard, stayed away from the tourists, stayed away from the pushers, stayed away from loud clothes, loud people, and especially loud opinions. BUT met the locals, shared their food, soaked up this little island, still did touristy things, got lost in the mountains found the most amazing places. Yes I was in shock, because I found it to be beautiful, to be among the ‘not’ tourists, the ‘not’ screaming to ‘ blow your bucks here’ to ‘not’ have to look at the ‘ happy hour ‘ signs inviting us in for a ‘good time’, ‘ a party ‘, ‘tits and ass all nite’, ‘ girls in for free’. Indeed culture shock.

What was the culture shock for me, was that this beautiful island was being run over by apes drinking five hundred gallons of beers, set up by people with as much sense and love for different things as a dog turd on a birthday cake, wanting to create a home away for people who want to go somewhere exotic but scared of leaving their kitchen, so here they’ll have all the comforts from home, including their believes shared with the same believers in what is a perfect world with the perfect people running it. And anyone sticking out as being different should really stay home and not muddy up perfect waters meant for the so called chosen people.

So wherezyabeen ?
To a wonderful place, had a wonderful time, met a lot of locals. They made us feel welcome, because the difference being different is, that you can share both worlds with eachother and all be one in believing in the same world.
Try and “Imagine ” that.
I still can.

Loveyous all.

JZ.